the real sim shady

voleste:

*bounces in chair*

They should just rename the franchise to “De Sims”

I love how nefarious she looks.

A beast from nightmares.

Just look at those eyes.

I want a kitchen like this.

Oh the musk of a smelly apocalyptic woman. 

“I found this shiny rock and wire on base and made you an engagement ring. Please marry me.” 

Oh how fast sim romance is. 

The next morning I needed to ask her something.

“What the hell are you doing?” 

“Jaina…”

If there’s one thing Apocalyptic Movies don’t prepare you for its definitely got to be how hairy and smelly women get. I mean I get to be all manly and shave with a knife, but what woman in her right mind would want to do that?

The sex wasn’t the most romantic. We just ripped off all our clothes and yeah… It was great though. 

“I’m Grant. Grant Wolff.” 

“It is so nice to meet you Grant.” Jaina smiled, “Are you related to the Wolff’s in Sunset Valley?”

“Distantly.” 

I knew I would be taking a big risk with this, but when you’re in the Apocalypse and life gives you a girl you make, love?

She jumped up in front of me and saluted, “Jaina Moore, hot dog extraordinaire, at your service.” 

“So you want me to stay then, huh?” She leaned into me and nudged me with her elbow.

I nodded and put my arm around her, “Yeah, you burned the hot dogs, but not as badly as me.” She rested her head on my shoulder and we sat there for what seemed like hours. It was nice to have someone with me.